It's Appraisal time!

Yeah. It's that time of the year again when all we techies wait for the one figure which will decide the bonus, the hike, the promotion and all other important decisions of our life. It is that time of the year, where the people who have worked their behinds off the whole of previous year will be waiting with bated breath for a good performance review while the one who were blissfully spreading 'gas' will be sucking up to their respective managers, some even volunteering to work as a household help for the manager. But for all you know your fate could be decided like this

(M1 - Manager 1, M2 - Manager 2,  XYZ - Random techie (could be you!))

Case 1: 
M1 - So what rating would you recommend XYZ? 
M2 - I will recommend the highest rating 1? 
M1 - Hmm.. can you justify?
M2 - He has really impressed the customer with his understanding of the application and has got multiple appreciations from them. Also he has won quite a few awards last year. 
M1 - Hmm.. but during the client visit last quarter, he blew only 25 balloons for decoration while on the average every team member was blowing 40. So I don't think he is a team player. I recommend a 2 and he might be pulled down to 3 as well if we find someone more deserving of a 2. 

Case 2: 
M2 - So what should we do about XYZ? 
M1 - 1 definitely! 
M2 - Why? 
M1 - Oh, he has got a great hairstyle! I really wish I had his head of hair. And he comes to office everyday too! 

Case 3: 
M2 - Now it's XYZ. I think he deserves a 1. He has been a top performer the whole of last year. I think we should recommend him for a promotion as well. 
M1 - Hey hold on, don't you know we have to compulsorily rate 5 percent of people in the lowest category. Let's say we put him on 4! 
M2 - But that is unfair. What will we tell him? 
M1 - Bah! The usual shit. Also, do you remember the way he was haggling with the auto wallah outside the campus gate over the rate? I think that shows he is unprofessional. Good case to pull him down I say! 

So you see, it doesn't matter what you have done the entire year, it doesn't matter how many tasks you have accomplished or how many certifications you have completed. All that matters is the opinion of  two or more people who have absolutely no idea of who you are or what work you have done.

And yet we waste so much of our time filling up those data points in the portal in the hope that at the end of the year the managers will look at them!

But the time has come now to revamp the system! No more time wasting, no more need to collect data points and appreciation mailers to present your case, no more headache for the manager's to look for an excuse. I introduce now, ladies and gentlemen, the latest tool which will change the way performance appraisals are done and one day probably will bring world peace!

So here we go. To start with, let's say we create a wheel which looks like this
 




A close look at the wheel will show that it is divided into 4 parts which represent the percentage of people who should be rated in a particular bracket (which is more or less same in all organizations). So we have 10% in the 1st bracket, 60% in the 2nd bracket, 25% in the 3rd bracket and 4% in the lowest bracket which is the 4th. 

Come appraisal time, call each candidate to the conference room and ask him/her what rating he/she is expecting. Something like this

Manager - So, what are you expecting? 
Random terrified techie - 1
Manager - (chuckles).. ok.. lets spin the wheel then! 

So the manager spins the wheel. Techie fold his hands in prayer, closes his eyes and starts chanting his/her good luck mantra. The wheel stops. Techie opens eyes. If it is a 1 Manager can say 'Congrats', if it stops at '4', 'Bad luck', let's try again next year'.

It's simple, ain't it pals? All the manager needs to say is 'Bad luck'! No need to discuss goals and accomplishments, no need to find faults, no need to sneak behind techies in the hope of catching him watching porn on his mobile!

And we techies can walk away either thanking our stars or cursing the darned cat that crossed our path just as we stepped out of the house.

But as it is with all path breaking theories, there is this minor niggle. As you know, anything and everything that happens inside of our organizations should follow a Bell curve. What is a bell curve you say? Well, it is in the words of Nassim Nicholas Taleb, 'That great intellectual fraud'. It looks like this







I am not quite sure at the moment if this technique of conducting performance appraisals would be able to achieve this dynamic shape. So whoever is spinning the wheel should actually be simultaneously plotting a graph as well. Any deviations in the shape might require a second spin of the wheel (or surreptitiously moving the dial to some other number while the Random terrified techie is busy chanting his/her good luck mantra)!

So here it is. Don't be surprised if your manager walks in with a round shaped object under his arms for the Performance appraisal discussion. It could be your 'Wheel of luck'. All the best!

Cheers..

© Murty NVD and Icemantalks, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Murty NVD and Icemantalks with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

To Kiran Ma'am

Over the past two days I have been following your tweets. Two of your tweets on Bollywood and the stuff depicted over there got me thinking. In one of the tweets you have said - "Do Item numbers not vet instincts?(Munni songs)Is it nt commodification of a woman's body?Does it not impact vulnerable minds? Any research". And in another of the tweets you say - "In d past I recall there were blatant Rape scenes in movies!Now those r subtle! Replaced by blatant exposure of woman's body to d maximum!"

I personally ma'am, am not a great fan of Bollywood. But while reading your tweets I had a few thoughts all of which could not be accomodated in the miserly 140 characters that twitter provides us. Hence this post.

To start with here are a few questions of my own - Who dances in the so called 'Munni songs' of Bollywood? Agreed that there is eventually a male director or producer somewhere but who danced in the famous 'Munni song' ? Who agrees to blatantly expose their bodies? Again I agree that there is a male somewhere in the picture but; who is eventually coming on screen and exposing their bodies? Is it not the actresses, the women in the film industry? Of course they charge a lump sum to do that, but that is out of scope here. Has any actress refused to do an item song or a rape scene or for that matter any scene because it involved too much exposure of the body? Are not the women then (read actresses) contributing towards commodification of their own bodies when it comes to Bollywood? Have you ever ma'am spoken to any of the actresses and asked them why do they expose so much on screen, especially since you think that it impacts vulnerable minds? Have you ever asked them why are they contributing towards commodotising a woman's body? I would love to hear the responses if you have indeed spoken to some.

Second, I am not sure but I assume that when you said 'vulnerable minds' you probably meant men whose minds could get easily corrupted by how a woman is depicted on screen. But, have you not seen school girls or college girls gyrating to those same Munni and Sheila songs in functions, dance competitions and reality shows? I am pretty sure that a few of  the noble women present at the protests in Delhi would have done that sometime or the other. Would you call those minds vulnerable as well?

Third, do you think that it is realistically possible to ask the Bollywood actresses not to expose on screen (and off screen as well) and start covering themselves from head to toe? Is it realistically possible to prevent the young school and college going girls from watching the item songs and later hum those same tunes and dance to it?

Science magazines may suggest that watching TV and movie violence changes brain function. But is it significant enough to actually make a person do something which he/she does not intend to do? Would you deny if I said that TV and movie violence is less important, rather inconsequential, but it is the surrounding environment and the circumstances which primarily shapes or changes brain function?

Let us face it. We find ourselves in the situation that we are in today because we always tend to focus more on the symptoms than the root cause. We tend to get carried away by the noise and forget to look at the main issue. Changing Bollywood to show only 'sati savitris' will not change anything. Showing less violence on TV will also not change anything. What we as a nation should eventually concentrate on is education, counselling and striving to improve the general living condition of the people. It might not show immediate results in the short run but in the long run things will definitely take a turn for the better. And therein lies the problem. Everyone in our country wants immediate results, immediate gratification, be it the politicians in the parliament or the person out there on the street. Especially our politicians, because long term policies never wins you elections, does it?

Also, next on my reading list is 'I Dare'. I apologise for not having read it earlier. Now since you have said that the book documents how gangrape is preventable, I am all the more curious.

 But the book sure does not say watch less bollywood and TV, does it?




 

It's time to Stand up

 So all the furore over the Delhi gangrape incident has stopped now it seems. Since the day the incident occured, the media, the public and everyone else out there on the street and inside their homes have left no stone unturned in voicing out their opinions and vehemently condemning the incident. Delhi saw an unprecedented wave of protests which eventually turned violent - as most protests in India usually do - and accounted for a life of a policeman on duty.

So what next? Where has all this led us to? Are we better off after the protests than we were before the protests? Has the death of a constable on duty achieved what the protests intended to achieve? All those noble men and women, can they say for sure that their protests will bear fruit and Delhi- or for that matter India - will be a safer place for women hereon?

There have been a plethora of opinions in the social circles and media after the incident. A former HR head of an IT major suggested chemical castration of the culprits and actually hoped it would act as a deterrent. But what was not explained or perhaps not thought of was, how does chemical castration after the incident help the victim? Will it surely act as a deterrent? In a country where men are violating women with complete disregard to the law of the land, confident that they will never be caught and even IF caught it will take a long time for the crime to be proved, how does having a clause 'Thou shalt be chemically castrated' act as a deterrent?

Lots of others have talked about how society should be reformed, how parents and schools should cautiously strive to eliminate the psychological differences that arise between the boy child and girl child and ensure that all are eventually on an equal footing. The Union HRD minister even talked about introducing moral science classes in schools. The primary ingredient to achieve that is fully functioning government schools across the country with regular teachers perhaps never crossed his mind. However amidst all this, no one explained that if they think all such measures will eliminate crime against women and earn them the respect that they so thoroughly deserve, then how do you explain the incidents of molestation, sexual harrasment and rapes that occur in high society, where people are seemingly well educated ? For that matter, how do you explain the sexual harassments that happen at the work place? I am sure, such people have been brought up in well educated families with working women in most cases, and have never been brainwashed to discriminate against women. Also I am pretty sure that they have been educated in schools where moral science is a part of the curriculum. Then how do you explain such men resorting to violence against women?

Of course along the way we also had the Babas and the AAPs who always wait earnestly for hijacking any event to further their own political - and often base - agendas.

The final blow however came from the head of the state, the Prime Minister. I have never seen an address which failed so hopelessly to connect with the target audience. Instead of calming an already agitated public, it acted like a catalyst in making the people more agitated and frustrated.  It is not 'theek hai' to remain so aloof to matters of public concern and be a passive mute spectator for so long. This was the time for the PM to come out strongly, take matters into his own hands and arrange for a complete overhaul of a hopeless system. The iron was hot. It was time to strike. Alas, nothing happened and the moment was allowed to pass and status quo restored. As always.

So what now? How do we ensure that women of this country feel safe when they are out of their homes? How do we ensure that parents can rest assured that their daughter who has gone to college will come back home unharmed?

Alas, there is no definite answer to these questions. Yes, you can have deterrent laws(chemical castration included), you can educate society to respect women, you can ensure definite conviction of transgressors. But all this might not even lead to a tangible difference in the crime rates against women. Sounds scary? Yes it does, but that is the cold truth.

Crimes against women happen because men think that women are vulnerable. They know that they will not be physically harmed since the women in most cases will not fight back. And after the incident, many women might not complain as well, for the fear of being stigmatized in society. Then there are cases where men simply don't care of the repercussions. All that matters is the immediate pleasure that commiting the act would bring them.

The women might ask, what should we do then? Are we ever going to be safe in this country? Will the system and society ever ensure our safety?

The answer is, the system can never ensure your safety. And what system and society are we talking about here? Where the cops immediately raise doubts over the chastity of a woman who goes to get her complaint registered? Where the judiciary system has loopholes big enough for a criminal to drive a car through it and escape? Where the general public stands aside and watches a teenage girl being publicly groped and molested while an over-zealous reporter is filming the act? Where some ministers sit in the assembly not to discuss important issues of public concern but to watch porn? Where the head of the state doesn't speak up and seems to be concerned more about the upcoming general elections that the plight of the public? Where every incident signifies nothing but just another means to further political agendas and settle political scores?

It is time to put an end to all this. It's time for each and every woman of this country to take matters of safety into their own hands.

The only way to achieve this, dear women, is to make the perverted men of this country fear you, the same way you fear them when you are standing alone waiting for a bus, or passing through a less populated street at night, or travelling in a cab all alone. Carry a knife if you must, and chop the b***s of the bugger who dares to touch you without your consent.  Use the same violence against them. If possible make it so violent that the message is sent out cold and clear to all those perverted minds out there, that no woman will never ever submit to another act of violence. Use the same loopholes in law which allow men to get away with violence against you. Society may tell you that violence is not the answer. That same society doesn't seem to be telling it's men the same. The judiciary may ask you not to take matters of the law into your own hands. That same judiciary has failed to protect you for so long.  Hence, the time has come for you to stop depending upon men, the system, the law and the society for your safety and well being. It is time for all women of  this country to stand up against this male chauvinism. Sweeping reforms may come or may not come. There is no time to wait.

It is time to send one message loud and clear - If you cannot respect us, then better fear us. 


© Murty NVD and Icemantalks, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Murty NVD and Icemantalks with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.